Warning: New Cult Forming

Well, its not so new. The craziness that is "Lost" is sweeping over America like a epidemic. Every high schooler and their mother is watching this show, and all I ask is...why? After watching the first couple of episodes, I was convinced I was watching the stupidest show ever. Polar bears on a tropical island, smoke that eats people, and other bullshit that seems to pop up on that show just doesn't phase me. Maybe I have the wrong attitude. Maybe I need to open my mind up to the possibilities. I understand that to many this show is good, but I could never imagine myself obsessing over this show. I just don't understand...

Oh my God, LOST IS BACK TONIGHT!!! FUCK YEAH!!!

I don't need that.

I like to think I watch pretty practical TV. Obviously nothing on TV is practical, but I watch shows that don't make Lord of the Rings look normal. I'm down with "House" and "The Office". Those are the only two shows I watch, besides the occasional "Colbert Report" at 2am. I really have tried watching "Lost", but I just can't sit down without thinking "what am I doing here?" But "Lost" has made me think, what would happen if I survived a plane crash. Obviously that's a miracle, and if I survived, there's no way anyone else would. It's a plane crash. Numbers of people don't just survive those. But anyway, what would I bring? The necessities.

1. A woman. If I'm on an island for the rest of my life, I'm gonna need to start a little family, perhaps a whole new civilization. But wait a second. How would she survive the plane crash? How do 20 people survive a plane crash? It escapes me.

2. Metal detector. If I'm living on the beach, I'm looking for some valuables. I figure on an island where polar bears roam free, I can find a pearl necklace.

3. Time travel device. Oh wait, nevermind. The island somehow is alive, and skips time for me. Thanks, island.

4. Season one of "Flight of the Conchords". If I were to be killed by human eating smoke, I'd want to go to "You're So Beautiful"